The heart is the organ that is associated with fire element. Fire and the heart both invoke passion. Most of my favourite things mentioned above are typically associated with the warmer weather. If you’d ask me, I would say summer – the fire season – is my favourite season. As Summer Solstice is approaching, I get excited about the longest days, thinking about how many things I can do in one day. In wintertime I usually tend to get a bit nervous around 4pm. It will start getting dark (if it’s not already dark because of the rainclouds) and I feel there is only so much time left in the day. So little time and all that work to do, picking up kids, cooking a wholesome meal, having diner, getting the kids to bed, enjoying what is left of the evening and then getting an early night, because I’m so darn tired of the dark and short days. Whereas in summer, I feel time is on my side.

All that yang…

However, all this buzzing about has a downside. My constitution has always enabled me to go and go and go, sometimes for weeks or even months on end, without stopping. Until I can’t go on. And then I really can’t go on. My inspiration fails me, I have no energy. I drag myself through the day and then I lie awake at night because I am too excited to fall asleep. This state of utter exhaustion, not being able to get anything of what I had planned, even makes me feel a bit down. This situation usually occurs in summer and always leaves me wondering: how come I feel so down in the warmest, most outgoing season of the year?

The answer most likely has to do with balance. The strong, active and loud yang energy typically associated with the archetypical masculine that has been building up since around the beginning of May, reaches its peak around summer solstice and simply becomes too much for me. It’s not just the sun and the warmth of summer, nor the endless amount of activities I do outside of the house, it’s also eating summer fruits and vegetables that have been grown by the sun (nectarines, oranges, ripe tomatoes etc.). Not sticking to my normal routines, but staying up late, not regularly going to yoga classes, but instead organizing school parties, attending picknicks and doing all those thousands of things we need to do before summer holidays finally start.

…requires some yin

Traditional Chinese Medicine and Ayurveda alike are aimed at balancing different energies. One of the most important remedies against an overdose of yang is to pause. Just stand still. Do nothing for a little while, except for perhaps some calm breathing exercises or some restorative yin yoga, to help you feel what it is you really need inside. Go to sleep before 10pm, resist the temptation to stay up as long as it is light outside or going to another summer barbecue. Go on walks in nature. In forests (trees are cooling) or – if you can – near the water. A river, the sea of the ocean. Mind what you take in. Drink lots of (boiled and then cooled down, filtered) water. Drink mint tea. Eat vegetables and fruits that will cool you down, such as watermelon and cucumber.

And what usually does the trick for me, is to just give in. Knowing that I can’t do everything on my to do list. That all the other parents aren’t organizing a summer party for school. That it’s okay if my children eat barbecued sausage and cucumber for diner once a week. That my friends will understand if I go to bed early and meet them some other time, when my energy level is much higher.

To be home or not to be at home

The same goes for my house. As much as I would love to share inspiration with you from my latest project, I just don’t have it in me right now. I have to accept that I can’t always do projects around the house. Summer just doesn’t seem to be made for projects. It’s too warm to paint, move around furniture or play with pillows and blankets. My attention is aimed outward, outside of the house instead of in.

However, one thing I do feel attracted to these days is to go out and find inspiration. This used to be a thing for my husband and I. Back when we had just met and we didn’t have children, I would visit him in Madrid and he would visit me in Amsterdam every two weeks. We loved to travel elsewhere too. Back in those days we visited Paris, London, Moscow, Nice, Lisbon, Berlin, Antwerp, Brussels and many more beautiful cities. We would go out, whether in Madrid or Amsterdam, to a neighbourhood we had yet to discover and roam the streets for shops, restaurants, bars or just inspirational places that would attract our attention. Sometimes we would get something nice for one of our homes. Some books, a scented candle, a souvenir. Anything reminding us of that special moment we shared in that special city. It would then find a place to one of our homes, where they still are.

But then life happened. We had kids, a worldwide pandemic. Time or simply the possibility failed us to go out. Secretly I enjoyed the quiet times of the pandemic (I realize fully I was one of the lucky ones not to fall ill or have anyone in the family suffering from Covid or worse). But the other day my oldest daughter was attending a birthday party. It was a nice summer day and my husband and I took our youngest daughter out. We got her a present, went to a beautiful interior design and decoration shop, got my favourite proper Indonesian take away on the way back. And I realized – we both did – how much we had missed. The city, the buzz, going out, having a drink, or simply roaming the streets, just getting inspired, together, sharing the experience, and all of that in our own, quiet pace.

Reduce the contrast

Reflecting upon what I just wrote, I see that lately we have been living in times of big contrasts. From one day to the next we had stay home, stay in. Our lives came to a halt, a two year pause. It sometimes feels as if now we have to make up for lost times. Birthday parties, school parties, work parties, travelling and all of that preferably packed up in the warm days of summer. At the same time I realize some of my patterns have changed perhaps more permanently than I thought, causing my lack of inspiration.

So I guess my need to find balance in summer is a greater need to find balance in life. The huge contrast in our current day society between yin (retreats, being forced to stay at home during the pandemic, winter times) and yang (parties, social events, social media, FOMO) doesn’t need to be so huge. We can enjoy the warmth outside. But perhaps after about 3pm when the sun gives just the right amount of glow. Of course we can go out. But we can keep it local and not go for too long. Of course we can think of projects. But we can keep them small and make plans now while executing later. Everything in its time.

Listen to your heart

I took my own advice into account. I took a subscription at Local Flowers (@lokalebloemetjes), a beautiful garden in the West of Amsterdam, run by wonderful Sarai. With a subscription you are allowed to pluck flowers every month. No registration needed, the subscription is based on mutual trust that we all want what is best for nature and for the garden. Of course, I took my girls along with me. It took us about 15 minutes to get there, half an hour to pluck the best flowers and then 15 minutes to get back. A perfect outing on a perfect summer afternoon.

And the projects? I am leaving them for now. We are going on holiday end of July. I am taking all measurements of the house with me of spots where I could use a mirror, cupboard or other accessory. We can just visit lovely Normandy towns or antique markets and if we happen to stumble upon a treasure, we know whether it will fit. If not, we will just have more to look forward to finding after summer or in autumn, when our energy levels are back to where they normally are.

The pink dresses of my daughters. The smell of the fresh flowers in the garden. Walking the boulevards in Normandy. Having a glass of wine with my husband on a terrace near the beach. My daughters laughing, hugging, just being with us for three whole weeks without school or work. Getting a coffee and a croissant at the bakery in the harbour that doubles as a pizzeria in the evenings. Eating a pizza at the bakery in the harbour that doubles as a pâtissier in the mornings. Going to the beach every day. Why do I repeat my favourite things? Because I will for now just sit back, relax and enjoy the summer version of the matters of my heart.